The Blog Rides Again!

I can write.

At least I think I still can. I feel like all of my reasons are gone. I used to write for catharsis, but all my teenage angst is now long gone, and I'm floating somewhere between sublime happiness and becoming a complete waste of life. I used to write to entertain, but come on, how often do people care what you have to say? I'm even guilty of that. So many times when I could've just taken five damn minutes to read something and actually read it, and I didn't. Let alone comment. Which makes me a gigantic hypocrite, as feedback is like crack to me. I can't get enough, and when I don't get it I just sort of fade away.

So many projects, much like this blog, have died because -- whether this is true or not I don't know -- no one seemed to care. And if no one seems to care, then what is the point, really? ... Well, if you're still here, then I'm going to just shut up now, before I make this into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'll try and keep this short. I'm resurrecting this blog in part so I can reconnect to the outside world. In part so I can do something worthwhile with my time. Yes, it's sad that this about as "worthwhile" as I'm getting these days... but you know, baby steps... baby steps. I've got a whole lot of stuff to un-fuck up, and you gotta start somewhere. Maybe I lied, maybe I do need the catharsis. I promise I'll do my best to keep the angst to a minimum.

So why should you believe that I'll actually keep with a blog this go-round? Well, you probably shouldn't. I'm not even sure I'll do it myself. Sad as it is, I can't even give myself a vote of confidence. That said, I'm going to do to things to make this a little easier for everyone: a) I'm going to be more focused, and also going to give myself a general topic to keep the engine fueled, and b) I'm going be less verbose. Yes, I realize that I'm failing at that already. What can I say? It's just how I roll.

I'm going to stop for today to keep this digestable. I'll update it tomorrow. For those of you who read, take a second to comment. Assuming you've read my previous whopping four posts, do you like my stream-of-thought, tangental style, or would you prefer I try to focus more? I feel like I'm very "personal" as writer, like I'm talking to an old friend, though maybe it doesn't come across well in this medium. I actually wrote the letter to the academic commission in charge of pending dismissal in the same straightforward, honest way I always try to write. I guess it worked for them. Okay, I'm really done now.

Peace.